About this resource
Every person’s experience of miscarriage, including partners and loved ones, is different.
Understanding the wide range of emotions someone may be going through can help you support them better.
Listen to how they feel
Showing support can start by following their lead. Be there to listen if they want to share, without judgement.
If they don’t feel like talking, respect their need for space or silence.
Ask them what they need and let them decide. They may want to talk or just have you there.
Every emotion is valid
Someone’s feelings about a miscarriage may change day-to-day, or over a long period of time.
It is normal for someone to feel a wide range of emotions from sadness, numbness and anger to guilt or even a sense of acceptance or relief. No feelings are wrong or right.
There’s no timeline
For some people, processing how they feel may take time. They might talk about it all the time, or not at all.
Feelings may come back at significant dates, or be triggered by things like pregnancy announcements, baby showers or seeing others have children - even years after their miscarriage occurred.
Being there for someone who has experienced miscarriage - no matter the time frame - can make a big difference.
More to the picture
Many things can affect the experience of miscarriage for people and their partners, that you may not see. These can happen days, months or even years later. Examples include:
Medical appointments
This could be visits to the GP, or in some cases surgery and close monitoring. Medical appointments can bring added stress, such as organising transport, taking time off work or paying for care.
Taking time off
Some people may need to take time off from work, volunteering, social events or hobbies. Others may need help with everyday tasks. It may be difficult for them to ask for what they need.
Hiding their feelings
People may hide their feelings and act like they’re ok around others when they’re not.
Triggering situations
It may be difficult for people to be around babies, young children, or pregnant people. Significant dates such as due dates, and other people’s pregnancy announcements may also be hard.
Worries about the future
People may feel anxious about future pregnancies or fear a miscarriage could happen again.
Mental health and wellbeing
Some people may experience impacts to their mental health, such as anxiety, depression, or feelings of overwhelm.