Feeling Confident About Condoms

Condoms are not just for stopping pregnancy. They are also the best way to avoid STIs (sexually transmissible infections). Make sure you know how to use a condom properly and always have some with you.


How do I mention condoms?

Let your partner know that you want to use condoms and why you feel it’s important well before the heat of the moment. If it’s unplanned sex simply say “condom?” before things get too heavy. Drinking alcohol and taking other drugs may affect your ability to make safe decisions.

What if they say they don’t want to use condoms?

Some partners may be reluctant to use condoms at first. Talk about it together but be clear and firm about the reasons why you want to be safe and use a condom. It’s your sex life; you get to choose when, where and how you want to have sex.

Won’t my partner think I don’t trust them?

Anyone who has had previous sexual contact can have an STI, even people with just one or two previous partners. Talking about using condoms doesn’t mean that you don’t trust your partner or that you have something to hide yourself, it just shows that you care about your health – and theirs.

Do I need to use condoms in a long term relationship?

If you are in a long-term relationship and want to have sex without condoms, suggest that you and your partner get tested first. Remember that you may not see any obvious signs of an STI but you or your partner may have one and not know it. If you change partners you will need to use condoms again to stay safe.

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Are there any common excuses?

The excuses for not wearing condoms are often based around myths such as ‘condoms are a passion killer’.

For some it is simply they’re too embarrassed to buy them or have had a bad experience trying to use them before.

But excuses like ‘I can’t feel much with one on’, or ‘I’ve been tested and I’m clean’ are not good enough excuses to risk infection. Some young people wrongly believe that STIs don’t happen to ‘people like them’ or they can tell who has an STI just by looking at them.

What can I say to these excuses?

Everyone should feel comfortable when it comes to sex – and you can’t do that unless you are taking care of yourself. Explain your concerns to your partner and offer suggestions. For example, you can offer to buy condoms together or get them online, suggest experimenting with different types of styles and sizes and involve condoms in foreplay. If your partner still says no to condoms you should ask yourself if you’re prepared to risk your health by having unsafe sex. Your answer can be no too.

Where to get help


If you need more information or advice you can talk to your doctor or visit your local sexual health clinic.

See the Where to Get Help page.

You’ll hear plenty of excuses when it comes to condoms and STIs. Don’t let lovers gamble with your health – keep these cards up your sleeve!

Spin the wheel to discover the many risks of sex without a condom.
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